WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 01, 2008
Jack (my son, for those who have not yet participated in the yak-tipping/goldfish-impersonating initiation you must undergo in order to read this blog) turned 8 this summer. Apparently, this is the age where your children start to say things that force you to do the cartoon double-take. Or maybe it’s just my kid. Here is a sampling of Jack-isms from the just this past month;
Jack (not happy with something I asked him to do): Mom, you’d better be nice to me.
Me (not happy that he’s questioning my omnipotent authority): Why’s that?
Jack: Because someday, I’m gonna be a 5-star general and then your Commander-in-Chief…just like Dwight David Eisenhower.
Me (wondering if Jack has been secretly watching Mad Men): I still win. Even the President has to answer to his mother. Now clean your room.
This one happened two days later:
Jack: (sobbing on the sofa in the middle of the afternoon): Mom, I’m really sad.
Me: You’re 8. It’s a beautiful day and you have no homework. What do you have to be sad about?
Jack (still crying): Because I want to get married someday and I also want to be the Pope and I can’t do both.
Me: Um…Go out and play. (I know, I won’t win any motherhood wisdom awards for this one.)
Here’s my favorite. It happened a couple of days later, while I was watching the presidential debate:
Jack: (Appearing beside me suddenly and completely naked from his shower) I’m gonna vote for McCain.
Me: You can’t vote. (Thinking about this for a second) Wait, Why McCain?
Jack: (shaking his head as if I’m an idiot) Because if he wins, there will still be an Iraq war when I’m old enough to go and fight.
Me (yelling as Jack dances naked out of the room): I liked it better when you wanted to be the Pope!
I don’t know. Maybe he’s going through a growth spurt or eating WAY too many Sour Skittles lately. What do you think?