WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 2008
So, I’m doing all this research for book 4 – Coney’s book – including Ultimate Fighting, Mixed Martial Arts and Pankration. Don’t get excited – I don’t know where this is going yet with him (although I like the idea of oiling him up for something) – but there is some stuff there I can use. At least, that’s why I tell my husband I have to dvr MMA fights and watch them over, and over, and over…well, you get the idea.
Did you know that even though this style of fighting seems to have burst onto the scene in the ’90’s, the ground and pound style of fighting was actually an Olympic sport in ancient Greece? The Spartans used it to train their warriors. And even in training they fought until their opponent was unconscious or dead (which seems a bit excessive to me and the waste of perfectly good manflesh – don’t you think?). And the guys who tapped out had to stay home from Thermopylae – making do with a kitschy souvenir; “My Captain went to the Hot Gates and all I got was this blood-spattered t-shirt.”
Anyway, what really caught my attention was that the Greeks illustrated all their fighting techniques on vases and their china. I guess no one gave a damn for rosebuds or fleur-de-lis. My mother would’ve killed me if I turned her Christmas china into a “how to” for cheerleading (the only sport I was good at, because I’m very, very loud). It makes me think of cave paintings (and Jack with a sharpie at age 3). Well, maybe those were an exception. “Dude! Since we don’t have paper yet and Mom got trampled by that mastodon last week, let’s draw a picture of sabertooth tiger-tipping (the drunken, prehistoric prank of the day) on the walls.”
What possessed the Greeks to put detailed fighting demos on their everyday dishes? (And if that was on their everyday stuff, WHAT was on their fine porcelain?) Was there a shortage on marble slabs that year? Where the Egyptians hoarding papyrus out of fear of Y2K BC?
What engaged couple went into the Parthenon Department Store (the Nordstrom’s of their time) and decided they wanted oiled, naked men beating each other senseless on their china pattern? “Oh! Honey! Look at the dead guy on the gravy boat! I hope Aunt Antigone gets us that! Poor thing has been so obsessed with her daddy, Oedipus, lately.”
Maybe Greek mothers used them as the incentives for their little boys to finish their soup? “If you eat it all, you’ll see how to land that arm bar you’ve babbling on about.” Hell, maybe I’ve got this wrong and Greek moms needed the instruction handy for throttling their spawn.
It’s a good thing that fashion has changed or my husband would’ve demanded that pattern when we registered. Thank god for Dansk’s Santa Fe line. Although I must admit – I guess it wouldn’t be so bad to have naked men on a plate or two…