Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Meet Muppet. She’s the newest member of the Assassin Family. Muppet is six months old, weighs 4 pounds and I’m pretty sure if you cut her, she’d bleed cotton and gumdrops, unicorns and rainbows.
After nearly a week with her, I think I’ve got some insight into her empty little brain pan. And here’s what I think she is thinking 99% of the time;
1) I LOVE YOU! AND Grass! AND Cat Puke! AND Bubonic Plague! AND Neo-Conservatives! AND…
2) YOUSAIDMYNAME!YOUSAIDMYNAME!YOUSAIDMYNAME! YOUSAIDMYNAME! YOUSAIDMYNAME! YOUSAIDMYNAME! YOUSAIDMYNAME!
3) Maybe it I pull on the leash hard, I’ll throw up over and over! Ack! Urp! Yay!
4) Why does she scream like that? It’s only a shoe/purse/steak/leather sofa/antique chair/Fred Rogers/Van Gogh’s original Starry Night/the remains of Amelia Earhart…(insert your favorite here)
This past week was when we were up seeing SGT. Assassin at Ft. Dix. My husband was giving our 8-yr old boy a few lessons in traditional military philosophy;
SGT A: “You know, Jack, an army moves on its belly and walks on its feet. Do you understand what that means?”
Jack: (After thinking for a second) “The Army is made up of penguins?”
I wish I’d thought of that.
All the way to New York, the kids went on and on about how they HAS to see the Empire State Building. I think it was the only thing they knew about NYC – which makes me look bad as a parent. So, after spending about $100 (that’s with the military discount, folks) and an hour or so to get to the Observation Deck, this was the conversation we had;
Margaret: “That’s it? The Sears Tower is higher.”
Jack: “I’m afraid of heights. Can we go now?”
Margaret: “Why is Daddy shaking his head and crying?”
Hope your week is somewhat more…um…something.
The Assassin