Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I should never, ever, post after a bottle of Mad Housewife Chardonnay, as evidenced by my premature post. Sorry to Christie! In my defense, we were eating caprese salads and my Mr. Assassin thought I should have some (a lot of) wine.
It was a strange week…and it’s only Tuesday. As I look back over the past…um…2 days, I realize I’ve said some odd things to make the people I love consider institutionalizing me. Here’s an example:
– “No, we can’t go to Universal Studios to see the World of Harry Potter until 2022 at least. The line to get in can be seen from space!”
(I have no proof to back that up, btw.)
– “Jack canNOT be 10 already! I only had him a few years ago!”
(Jack is, in fact, 10. I did have him 10 years ago. I cannot defy the laws of physics and give birth to a 7 year old boy.)
– (to my 12 yr. old daughter) “Yes, when you are 18 I will kick you out of the house to go AWAY to college. It’s for your own good.”
(I may deny this in 6 years.)
– (to Mr. Assassin) “You want to do WHAT with canola oil and an ice cream scoop?”
(Okay, to be honest, I TOTALLY misheard him here.)
– “ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! You turned off the funk! I want the funk! Turn on the funk!”
(I’m gonna rig my iPod to shock my kids when they touch it. Seriously. I need the funk.)
– (to Mr. A.) “I DID NOT sabotage the fuel pump on your car while you were in Iraq! I just never started, cleared off or drove it. Wait, is that bad?”
(Yes. That is bad. $500+ bad.)
The Assassin