WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2010
Okay, not exactly what you were looking for. What did you think you’d find?
My wrist has a lump. Or maybe it’s a hump…like Igor. Anyway, my doctor is referring me to an orthopedic doctor. X-rays have shown that it is NOT:
- Broken bone. Really? My doctor thought maybe I hadn’t noticed that I’d broken my wrist and was actually capable of ignoring the pain that would be involved. Please! I faint when I pluck my eyebrows. (FYI – it takes me a loooooooong time to pluck my eyebrows)
- A ganglion cyst. That’s too bad. I was hoping it was (and not just because it’s really, really fun to say). I googled ganglion cysts and they look pretty cool. I could put it in a jar and name it Poopsie.
- A tiny human operating the controls that make Leslie Langtry function. Psych! That person lives in my pancreas. Her name is Lola and she speaks Urdu and plays the bassoon. She is particularly fond of vodka.
- My wrist is giving me attitude by thrusting it’s, um, hip out provocatively. If that is the case, it will be punished. I already have a 12 yr-old daughter. I don’t need to be provoked by my appendages.
So, what is it? No idea. My doc is recommending an MRI. She is flummoxed. That can’t be good.
I’m asking for a second opinion. Yours. What do you think, my minions?
The Assassin.