Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Stephen Hawking said last week that when extra terrestrials visit Earth, we should be afraid…very afraid. Now, I’ve seen Independence Day, and The Day The Earth Stood Still (both versions). I remember those damned aliens making Richard Dreyfus build an escarpment out of his mashed potatoes. I’ve seen V (both versions). And I think Hawking might be onto something here.
I mean, who really thinks aliens will hide in our shed, eating our Reece’s Pieces, or that they will hang out, playing music at the aforementioned escarpment (notice that in Close Encounters, we never really saw what happened to the humans who got onto the space ship. Pssst…How to Serve Humans was a cookbook on the Twilight Zone.
So with all these ominous, movie aliens and Hawkings advice, you’d think we would be cautious about interacting with what’s out there, right? WRONG. Here is what NASA sent into space to let others know who we are:
I know what you are thinking…well, what I was thinking when I found this. First of all, NASA send this map at the bottom to let them know we are the third planet from the sun. Here we are! Right here! Come and suck up our resources! Aim your Death Star here!
But what really concerns me is the human forms in the image. First of all, the man is waving “hello” in a friendly manner. How do we know aliens are friendly? How do we know we aren’t actually flipping them off? We don’t know what their body language (or if they have bodies) is? There are nations where you cannot show the sole of your shoe without offending. What makes us think that the “hey, how ya doin” wave will mean the same thing in Klingon?
But the worst transgression, in my mind, is that NASA chose to depict humans naked. Oh, it’s not for the reason you think. I don’t care if aliens know how our genitals are attached. No, the thing that worries me is that we are basically telling them, “Hey! Our bodies are soft, weak, vulnerable and delicious! C’mon down!”
We can all thank NASA for sending this into space and demonstrating to the tentacled, giant-headed aliens how to find and kill us. I think we need to come up with something else. And I’m taking suggestions.
What do you think?
The Assassin