WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 2010
I’m a simple human. I have simple needs and wants. Is it so wrong to want to be spoonfed Godiva Belgian Chocolate Ice Cream by my own, personal pool boy? No!
Here then, is my humble bucket list:
1) Learn to play bassoon. I love the bassoon. And it wouldn’t be much, really. I just would love to be able to play the Pink Panther theme. On a bassoon.
2) Eating Tour of Italy. No one loves pasta as much as me. Of course, after a week of gorging on fettucine in a quest for the perfect alfredo sauce, I would need to follow up with 5 sessions of liposuction. But it would be worth it, right?
3) Shopping Tour of Italy. Nothing much…just hitting the basics like PRADA, Gucci and Ferragamo. I’d leave enough for the rest of you…
4) Girl’s weekend with Tina Fey. Of course, she would have to wear a fat suit to make me feel better about myself…but she would do this because she’d see immediately that we are soul sisters.
5) Play with capybaras. Honestly, doesn’t this just explain itself?
6) Wake up at noon to a spotless house, loving children and Mr. Assassin in a g-string holding a bottle of Grey Goose and an enormous, triple chocolate cake. What? It could happen, right?
7) Spa weekend getaway with you guys, my lovely minions. In Italy. With shoes and pasta.
What’s on your list?
The Assassin