USA Today Bestselling Author of Cozy Comedies
Wednesday, June 10, 2009 Meet Muppet. She’s the newest member of the Assassin Family. Muppet is six months old, weighs 4 pounds and I’m pretty sure if you cut her, she’d bleed cotton and gumdrops, unicorns and rainbows. After nearly a week with her, I think I’ve got some insight into her empty little brain…
Wednesday, June 03, 2009 Me and the kids on the Empire State Building. The interesting part is that they begged to go there only to tell us they were both afraid of heights once we got there. As you read this, I will be driving back from New Jersey to the Quad Cities in one…
Wednesday, May 27, 2009 Here’s how I spent Memorial Day. That’s right, the holiday where we honor those who gave their lives for this great country of ours. This is how I honored that sacrifice. I watched the Land of the Lost marathon on Sci-Fi Channel. Okay, so I took a brief break to go…
Ah, the rotten smelling Corpse Plant…rarely given on Mother’s Day Okay, so it’s been an insanely rough couple of weeks. And now I find out I’ll be teaching canoeing to girl scouts for TEN HOURS on Saturday. And what comes after Saturday? Well, duh, Sunday. Not just any Sunday, but Mother’s Day. Ah, the big…
Wednesday, May 20, 2009 Here are some of the Complete Dinners I’ve had in the last month: Four bowls of Lucky Charms with a Hershey bar chaser (I cleaned three closets in 15 minutes immediately following); 7 Mini Snickers candy bars and an orange (I believe the fruit cancels out the candy…right?); 2 Bananas and…
Wednesday, April 29, 2009 Did you ever “Nyquil-goggle” and think that Sudafed on the counter is looking pretty good? Did you ever think, “Hell, what harm can come from taking those together?” Did you ever follow that sentiment with a Tylenol Nighttime Cold Chaser? A few observations during the last two days of severe head…
Wednesday, April 22, 2009 It’s that time again! That wonderful time of year when our local Girl Scout Service Unit holds its annual Leader-Daughter Event! A chance to spend time with the girl who is the reason I became a leader. Just me and Margaret and a chance to make some memories that no one…
This won’t be much today. I’m out of town with the kids, seeing Mr. Assassin off on his new adventure. My husband’s Reserve Unit has been called up. In two days he boards a bus to Ft. Dix in New Jersey. Then, in July, he heads off to Iraq until May 2010. So this won’t…
What if Jane Austen had a submachine gun for an arm and an interest in total, global domination? What if what we think is reality is actually just some blog written by a dendraphobic, nudist albino named “Steve?” What if spider monkeys were really made up of hundreds of monkey-shaped spiders? What are YOUR “what…
Wednesday, March 25, 2009 Anthropomorphic Taxidermy. You heard me. Anthropomorphic taxidermy. Try saying it fast three times. Now try saying it with a mouthful of peanut butter. Why? Because it amuses me. This is a real, dead squirrel Giddyapping on that there horse. Of course, that isn’t a real, dead horse. That would be ridiculous….