Wednesday, August 18, 2010
I saw on the news today that this symbol, from your car’s dashboard is considered Idiot Proof – translation: Any Idiot can look at this and know immediately what is wrong with their car. And I didn’t come up with the phrase “Idiot Proof.” The automobile industry did.
I now consider myself lower than an Idiot – because I had to look it up.
To me, this whatever-the-hell-it-is could be anything. Here’s what I think it looks like:
- Your belly is exclaiming! See how the bottom looks like boxer shorts and the curves upward of the tummy? The exclamation point means danger by diarhea, gas or impending disembowelment by Nazi zombies in Norway. (BTW – saw a funny movie this weekend about Nazi zombies in Norway…) When you see this light, pull over and find a bathroom or chain saw.
- Your steering wheel is about to explode. Now, I didn’t realize that steering wheels could explode, but the closest thing this symbol looks like in my car, is the steering wheel. So that must mean it is filled with explosives. If you see this light, just jump out of the car. Aiming it at a lake or something safe would be nice.
- The vase is trembling because some bitchy soprano is hitting the high notes. To me, this one seems like the most logical answer. If you see this light, throw the soprano out of the car. If this glass-shattering sound is coming from your cd player…well, even I can’t help you there.
- The plumber’s ass-crack is exposed. Sort of along the same lines as the boxer shorts in the first theory, only on the other side. And he’s hula dancing at the same time – as demostrated by the broken lines on either side. Now, I don’t really know why a plumber would be bending over inside your car. But if one is, you don’t need a light to tell you something is wrong.
I think I’ve proven that the auto industry should go back to the drawing board on this one. What is it?
It means your tire pressure is low. No, seriously, that’s what the news said. I know. I KNOW, right?
What do you think it looks like?
The Assassin