Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Did you ever “Nyquil-goggle” and think that Sudafed on the counter is looking pretty good? Did you ever think, “Hell, what harm can come from taking those together?” Did you ever follow that sentiment with a Tylenol Nighttime Cold Chaser?
A few observations during the last two days of severe head cold-induced hallucinations:
1) Kids don’t differentiate between, “What part of ‘Mommy is dying’ do you not understand?” and “Brush your teeth.” In their minds, there is no difference (or importance) between the two.
2) I want to see the baby who could fit his head into this bag and suffocate. I could make some money with that baby.
3) They say that the way your lipstick wears and the shape that results says a lot about you. I wonder if it applies to other makeup? This is what my Brow-Zing by Benefit has worn down to. I see ovaries and a uterus. What does that mean?
4) In the “Why didn’t I think of this?” files, why didn’t I think of this?
Have you read this yet? Here’s the opening line,
“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”
Seriously, why didn’t I think of that?
How is your week going?
The Assassin