WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 30, 2008
I’ve had four different people ask me in the last two days how I come up with my titles. Granted, I can’t tell if they are being complimentary or smart-assed, but I practice the religion known as Delusion – that way, it’s always a compliment. Anyway, I thought I’d let you into my brilliant (or most likely deranged) mind and see the titles I submitted to my fabulous editor (she really is fabulous!) for the last manuscript. And yes, I really did send these to her. Buckle up friends – you’re in for a bumpy ride;
PEOPLE ARE STRANGE, WHEN YOU’RE A STRANGLER (a little Doors thingy)(a variation could be; PEOPLE ARE TARGETS, WHEN YOU’RE A HITMAN)
HERE ON KILL AGAIN ISLE (a nod to bad tv themes. I also came up with THAT’S THE WAY THEY BECAME THE BOMBAY BUNCH)
JUST LIKE THAT OLD TIME LOCK AND LOAD (it’s Seeger-licious)
ONE KILL MAKES YOU SMALLER (a little Jeff. Airplane/Starship/whatever)
I’VE GOT KILLS – THEY’RE MULTIPLYING (did you know GREASE is the top box office movie musical ever?)
HOMOCIDE IS PAINLESS (ok, a little obscure since most people didn’t know M*A*S*H’s theme song actually had words)
I STILL HAVEN’T FOUND WHO I’M KILLING FOR (lovin’ that Bono!)
PARADISE BY THE RIFLE SIGHTS (Meatloaf rocks!)
THE GUN WILL COME OUT, TOMORROW (a perversion of ANNIE – just because)
IT’S ANOTHER I’LL KILL YA SUNRISE (who doesn’t love the EAGLES?)
SOMEONE TOOK THE HIT OUT IN THE RAIN (MacArthur’s park…anyone? Anyone? Okay, I’m officially old.)
IF I COULD KNOCK YOU OFF IN PARADISE UP ABOVE (SHE BOOM SHE BOOM) (a little killer bebop)
I KILLED HIM MY WAY (It’s Frank’s world – we just live in it.)
So there you have it – you’ve looked into the mind of a demented writer and lived to tell about it. Please restore your seats and tables to their upright position and have a nice day, wherever your final destination may be…