WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 02, 2008
Okay, so I plagerized Steve Martin on that one. Remember that album from the ’70’s? I must have played it one million times. Isn’t it so cool that a guy in a white suit with an arrow through his head – whose tagline was “Well excuuuuuuuuuse meeeeeeee!” was just honored by the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts? Classic.
SO! It’s that time to make resolutions. Usually, I hide the list so if no one else finds it (which also means that I never find it) – it never existed. Right? But this year I’m gonna try something different.
Prepare for…The ANTIRESOLUTIONS! Dun dun dun!
1) I resolve to not hurt my pets or children. (Kind of a no-brainer there – and easily achievable. I can probably check this one off right now! Woo hoo!)
2) I resolve to have a messy house. (My favorite one.)
3) I resolve to not to kill my husband in his sleep – even if he deserves it. (This one might be a little harder – but notice I didn’t say I wouldn’t fantasize about killing him – so there’s a sort of loophole there.)
4) I resolve not to limit my diet in any way. (Actually – this may be my favorite.)
5) I resolve that exercise is considered cruel and unusual punishment according to the articles of the Geneva Convention – so I won’t succumb. (Alright – I’m not sure this is really part of the Geneva Convention – but don’t you think it should be???)
6) I resolve not to live up to any unrealistic expectations I might have for myself. (See how I did that? Nice, huh?)
Feel free to plagiarize the list. I plan to lose it as soon as possible.
Happy New Year!
(Photo of Santa as the Spartan king Leonidas for those of you who remember the 300 Spartan potato blog.)