WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 02, 2011
Sorry for the suggestive name of this blog. I just got that. (Warning – upcoming photo might be for mature audiences or bruise fetishists only.)
After picking up Hot (Breakfast) Pockets for my son yesterday (his drug of choice), I noticed the package. It says (as you can see) 70% more sausage. What were these people thinking? I mean, how little sausage is in there to begin with if you need to add 70% more? Most things like this are 10% or maybe even 20% more. But 70%? Does my 10 year old really need to have 70% more meat…or for that matter, anything? If there’s 70% MORE sausage, and let’s say, for the sake of argument that there was 25% to begin with, doesn’t that mean there’s only 5% for the bread, the cheese and eggs? Shouldn’t they just call it a sausage with bits of egg and cheese? I don’t know. Maybe I’m the only one who sees it that way.
That’s right, this is my ass – or rather, my left buttock. Last Thursday, I fell down the garage stairs (see, we have this sunken family room off the garage). I was carrying 4 bags of groceries, a tote bag and my purse (what?). Of course, I didn’t see where my feet were going. Of course, the linoleum steps were wet from my kids tracking in snow. Of course, I’m a complete idiot.
Look at the size of this thing! It’s 8″x10″! Impressive (painful, but also impressive)! And colorful! All I know is, this is the first time I’ve ever wanted to show people a picture of my ass…well, since I was 23.
Well, I’m completely snowed in. I might actually get some writing done! I think before I do, I’ll go have one of those sausage Hot Pockets…
The Assassin